Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize