Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize