i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
