I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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