Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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