By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
