You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
