He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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