Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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