how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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