Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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