Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
