My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
