You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
