she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
