Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
please come you make the beer taste better
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
