i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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