Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
