so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize