sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's shark week go big or go home
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
