she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
