She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
