Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
