We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
