I wish I could punch you in the face.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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