So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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