she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize