I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
