You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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