Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
