we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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