When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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