this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
