I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
