We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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