I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
