Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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