If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
