Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
