i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
