He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
They have beer where we have blood.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
