I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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