am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
