HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
