Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
