So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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