margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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