wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
