I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
