just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
