just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
This toilet bowl is my home.
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