Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
ttyl tear gas
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
