She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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