I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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