life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
