remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
