she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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