If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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