At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
