his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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