that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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