it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
