i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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